Last week, one of the participants in my Bhagavad Gita Study Group asked me a question (based on explanations on one of the verses) - What is a Feeling?
One is definitely dictionary meaning. A Feeling is a state of Emotion, a mental state, etc. and we often call it a very complicated system. We are always in a state of mixed emotion. I realized, Gita has a very simple and straight answer to this. And I am not sure if I should share it here without any background of the verses we studied in Gita so far as Mind Science. I will still share that one simple meaning - 'Feelings are something that arises naturally within us. The ones that are wavering are our not real and only the unwavering feelings are real'. Yes, it is a very simple meaning, and hence with this definition, how many can figure out none of the feelings we have are real? I know it is very hard to accept when we have bottled-up so many emotions when we are dealing with so many issues in life, how can I even say that our feelings are not real? So I leave Gita's Definition aside and speak from the perspective of the emotions we understand as normally. That's a step that we need to take once we have acknowledged each and every feeling - most of which are repressed and you don't even know about it.
Today I came across one social media post that said, "I drink wine because I don't like to keep things bottled up". Well, if it's things, then its fine, but if you connect this same logic to your emotions, you will also experience that same empty and free space within you as that empty wine bottle.
If you empty the wine bottle to deal with your feelings then that is an issue. Sigmund Freud said, "Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways".
You may be a Man or a Woman by body or mind, it doesn't matter, both of you have bottled up feelings.
If you connect to any of these in the image below, you have bottled-up your emotions, and the list is not limited to this, it is a long one.
Almost everyone of us have heard this line at least once in our life - "You’re being emotional" (if said with anger or an elevated tone or irritatedly), the person is actually saying - “I’m not comfortable with or don’t know my own emotions and you sharing yours are showing me this inadequacy in myself.” - Bottled-up Feelings, you don't know what exactly you feel.
You often feel lonely
You might be a good listener for your friends and colleagues, but inside you feel lonely. You name this detachment, people in your life name this humility. To avoid loneliness you party hard. You have so many options to escape your inner void.
You’re always rushing about
One of the most common symptoms of bottled up emotions is if you are constantly rushing about, you are always busy and do not have time to stop. This is a coping mechanism so that you simply don’t have the time to go through your emotional problems or feelings. Read my article ' I am Busy', 'Escape Mechanism' and 'Dealing with Escapism'.
You have an addictive personality
Hitting the bottle, smoking, taking drugs, over or under eating, excessive exercise are all symptoms that you are avoiding dealing with the real problem. These are symptomatic of a person who is masking the underlying issues and pushing aside the actual problems.
This kind of person must realize that they are not emotionally available for any relationship. The feelings of inner emptiness that these people suffer from are the direct result of the parent’s failure to fulfill their needs for love, care and affection.
Children growing up in such an environment where there was gross inconsistency in meeting their love and affection needs enter adulthood with no sense of inner security.
In this background of lack of inner security, they develop an addictive personality.
They will cling to anything outside to ease their pain, be it people, smoking, drugs or alcohol.
Even if these people cling to you and profess their love, it comes from a place of addiction and not loving concern for you.
They only seek to receive rather give.
You may be tempted to mistake their addictive behavior for love, but actually it is anti love. It will only trap you rather than liberate you.
I remember writing the character Rohan in my book Men are from Earth, Women are from Earth.
You are Workoholic
People who are workaholic are similar to people who have an addictive personality. They just use their work instead or drugs or alcohol or other people to avoid their feelings.
While, it’s good to be ambitious and hard working, but it is equally important to strike work life balance.
A person who is a workaholic will not only spend insane number of hours at work but he/she will also be emotionally and mentally absent while he/she is there with you.
He/She would be so preoccupied with meeting targets and deadlines in his head that he will not be able to enjoy the present moment with you.
You have digestive issues
The brain and your digestive tract are closely linked and stress experienced in the brain will often affect the gut. You could be experiencing stomach cramps, constipation, bloating, diarrhea or a sudden allergic reaction to certain foods. Gut problems affect your metabolism and will slow you down.
You have regular headaches or You are easily distracted
Tension or cluster headaches are a true indication that you are struggling to keep your emotions under control. If you find that you are also forgetful and get easily distracted, this is another sign of bottled up emotions.
Well, I will just stop this article here as the list can go on and on. All you need to know is that this is normal everywhere and still it is an illness never spoken about just because it is not physical, it is not related to the tangible body. If you hurt your leg, will you go out and party with your friends or engage in other activities to relieve yourself from the leg pain? No, instead you will be restless and all your focus will be on the pain area. You will not even be noticing other parts of your body, just the area of pain. And you will do completely opposite when it comes to your emotional health. You will shift your focus everywhere else and do every possible thing to escape, deny and avoid. But that bottling up will lead you to the worst stage later, it could also be in the form of physical diseases like tumors, etc. and also emotional diseases like depression and anxiety.
It is very important to speak about these things in front of the right people. The biggest fear is of being bullied or people might take advantage of your vulnerability and that is why there are professionals like me who are committed to the emotional and mental well-being of every human on this planet.
Let's empty the bottle :) Life is Simple with Rimple. Why suffer when you can Enjoy the Treasures of Life. You can have name, fame, money, girlfriend, boyfriend, spouse, kids, financial security and still, you suffer. If you can figure out your escape mechanism, you will know. Each one of you will relate to at least one or the other point in this article. I just recalled it's Mental Health Awareness Month, but every day, every moment should be about Mental Health Awareness.
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